Self-discipline is doing something you don’t feel like doing because you know it has to be done. It’s the ability to control your feelings, impulses, desires, cravings and do what you know is right regardless of the circumstances. And while discipline is considered a must for children to be successful in life, self-discipline, in particular, is an invaluable life skill that will help children experience greater happiness and fulfilment by making wise decisions in life.
Raising our child to become a responsible, disciplined individual is never an easy task. Unfortunately, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to teaching our kids how to become better people. Instead, you’ll have to determine what works best for your family and your child based on their specific needs and personality type.
Why Is It Important to Nurture Child’s Self-Discipline?
We live in a society where instant gratification and lack of patience are the norms. Whether we’re waiting to watch the next episode of our favorite TV series or want our food ready to eat upon arriving home from the grocery store, we expect things to be done immediately. Unfortunately, when it comes to our children, we don’t always do a great job of teaching them how to delay gratification and control their impulses, leading to bad decision-making and negative consequences.
A child with good self-discipline is more likely to make better choices in life because they can control their emotions and impulses in stressful situations. It will lead to better behavior on their part while positively impacting those around them as well.
Having strong self-discipline also translates into higher self-confidence, which has a direct impact on decision-making in life. While some people blame their bad decision-making on bad luck, fear, or lack of education, the truth is they’re simply incapable of delaying gratification, so they give in to temptation before thinking things through. Giving in to one temptation leads to another, and another, until they find themselves at crossroads where they have to make a difficult decision. Having self-discipline is what keeps them from making that fateful decision in the first place.
Thus, a child’s self-discipline is a must for children to be successful in life. It will help them become better people by learning how to deal with disappointment and pressure, making them more confident and mature once they grow up.
While it is challenging to teach our children how to discipline themselves, we can go a long way in raising them to be better people. Here are some practical strategies that you can try to help your child develop self-discipline.
Strategies to Help Your Child Build Self-Discipline
1. Provide a Structure
Without a firm structure in place, children may not know what is expected of them and are often unable to carry out the tasks they should as a result. Thus, provide your child with plenty of task lists, hand-outs, and instructions to know what he has to do every day. It will help your child develop self-discipline and make him feel more responsible for household responsibilities. For example, you could require your child to clean his room every other day. Or, you could set up a routine morning by getting their homework straightened out before breakfast.
2. Teach Them What “No” Means
Young children are not used to hearing the word “no” because it’s one of those words that means “never” or “stop.” Every child needs to learn how to accept and deal with the word “no.” Have your child purposely do something they know is wrong, and you have warned them not to do it. Make sure you follow through without giving in. For instance, tell your child not to touch the cookies while you’re in the kitchen, but let her grab a cookie off the plate before she leaves. You’ll need to explain your reasoning for this because you will put it away if she touches it instead of eating it. Explain that if she wants another cookie, she can have one when they are out of sight.
3. Let your Child Make Their Own Decisions
No one is saying you have to lay all the decisions in the world on your child, but allowing them to make some of the smaller decisions for themselves will help them feel empowered and become more disciplined. It applies to big things as well as small things. For example, as I was growing up, my mother always asked me what I wanted for dinner; she would never decide. It taught me that I should do my research and decide if it makes sense or not.
4. Set Limits
Most children will feel more comfortable when they know what is expected of them. For example, if you will be gone for the weekend, let your child know that you will place limits on what they may do while you’re away. It helps to ground your children and can help them with their self-discipline while you’re gone.
5. Give Consequences
Discipline starts with natural consequences. Children will learn self-discipline when they know consequences are waiting for them if they don’t follow through with their tasks. When teaching children, the best method is to stay consistent, and you should not reward your child for good behavior if you have not given him a consequence for bad behavior. For instance, if your child has misbehaved by hitting his brother, give him time out and take away one of his toys to express your concern over the problem.
6. Let them Fail
No one likes failing, but if your child fails, it may be the best thing for them as they become more disciplined because of it. However, you cannot let your children constantly fail either. There needs to be some balance here. Not every child fails in school, but there is a certain percentage that will. On the other hand, you also want to ensure that they are failing because they are not putting forth the effort, or perhaps their lessons are not challenging enough for them. If it’s the latter, you need to consider your child’s education and help them become more disciplined to succeed later on.
7. Let Your Child Experience Activities by Themselves
It is not only easy, but it’s free. Allow your children the opportunity to do things on their own without you around. Your presence can often distract a child who is trying new things or has never done something before.
8. Praise Them
Praise your child when they do something you’ve asked them to do. It can be as simple as doing their homework or cleaning their room doing their homework. You can even do this when they’ve shown you that they can follow through in other areas but may not have had the opportunity to show you yet. Make it a point to praise your child for their accomplishments and efforts, even if it’s something small.
9. Provide Rewards
There is nothing wrong with rewarding your kids for doing well and following through with what they are told to do. However, make sure that you don’t spoil them for consistently giving rewards, especially toys and foods, because they may lose their motivation. If giving rewards are already part of your routine to build self-discipline in your child, it is better to choose interactive gifts and toy to help your child develop essential skills they can use later in life.
10. Model Self-Discipline
Your children will always look up to you and pattern themselves after seeing you do valuable things. Model self-discipline by being on time, working hard, and doing what you’re told.
It’s hard to maintain self-discipline when it seems like everything you do does not affect your child; it can be frustrating on your part. What is even more irritating is when your child doesn’t respond to your consequences at all. And before you get your emotions out of control, remember that children learn discipline at a slower rate than adults, so we have to be patient and give them time. You may consider these tips to discipline your child who doesn’t care about consequences.
How to Discipline Your Child who Doesn’t Care About Consequences?
1. Don’t get mad
If you are expressing your anger at your child, you are only teaching them to disrespect authority. You can tell that they don’t care when they ignore consequences when you’re angry at them.
2. Don’t give in
Children will not learn discipline when you give in to their demands. It will only teach them that they can get whatever they want from the world without listening to anyone.
3. Do one thing at a time, but don’t ignore the problem completely
When you notice that your child is doing something disruptive, try to tell them what they did wrong before anything else. It will get their attention, and you can explain the consequences if they continue to do it again.
4. Don’t try to force obedience
When you force your child to do something, they will be more likely to disobey you in the future. Your child will find it hard to trust you when you authorize their disobedience.
5. Be consistent and fair
Children who can’t understand that their actions will have consequences tend to be upset because they don’t understand why they didn’t get a reward for what they did wrong. If you’re not consistent in your rules, you can make raising your child more frustrating.
They need to understand this: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
You might be wondering what the point of all this is. Well, it’s simple. Self-discipline leads to many good things in life. It helps children develop the skills they need to succeed in life as well as adulthood. It also helps them learn how to stay focused on their goals, and more importantly, it makes them feel confident in themselves, which can lead to many other great things such as self-respect and achievement.
